Nam Tran Nguyen Weblog

Too many random thoughts, I am not sure which one to go with! Rafael Nadal lost today to PimPim. Four early exits (fairly early) in the last four tournaments. The rise and fall of a tennis superstar (anyone other than Federer) becoming shorter and shorter? Have the other players figured out Nadal? Tennis is a game of shot-making, not defensive ball retrieving… Okay, I digressed. Nadal on another day.

Tonight, we had dinner at Amanda’s. Amanda swears to me that she does not remember having a conversation about hosting a dinner at her apartment. But, for the record, she and I did have this conservation (Saturday during the party at Agyris to be exact). I threw out the idea of a home-cooked meal (tired of eating out all the time) and volunteered Amanda as chef. And, as validation, we did have a wonderful dinner tonight. Amanda was the main chef; I was the little helper/cutter and Nicole supervised (thank goodness for Nicole). Lisa came in with an ingenious desert menu (YUM!). Allison sat and drank. JLou came just in time for the food and left right before dishes (kidding…).

We talked about many things…Amanda’s bachelorette event, kids, our mothers, life. How many kids do I want to have? I have always thought maybe 3 or 4. It is interesting that we often think and ask “how” rather than “why”. So, I asked my friends why…why do we want to have kids? Kids are a huge sacrifice, financially, physically and emotionally, and sometimes there is NOTHING in return. So, either becoming a parent is a completely selfless act or someone please help me understand why. Parents, perhaps you can help shed some light on this topic.

The conversation was extremely animated with tints of psycology, physiology and philosophy. We have kids because:

• in old age, someone needs to take care of us — well now, how many of us actually expect our kids to take care of us. It seems that nursing homes and/or retirement centers are more of the norm. Recent articles in the NYT have even suggest that kids are freeloading off of parents longer and longer these days
• we want to create a “self” — you would have to be such a Type A to think this!
• of hormones — this physiological/survival behaviour holds water. But, there has to be something more…
• innate desire — the purest form of human relationship…that of a mother and child

We came to no firm conclusions. Perhaps the “aha” moment comes after becoming a parent. But, would that not be too late?

Evenutally, we digressed to Lisa’s horse riding story (Lisa’s horse Loco threw her off the saddle yesterday. Ouch!). I was satisfied with the “kids” conversation and quite amazed at the spectrum of thought and experiences. I came into the conversation thinking that there must be this “innate desire”, and I still feel that way. But, given the stories and examples that I heard tonight, I need to dig deeper at this question. Perhaps a SWOT analysis (maybe next post)